The Adventures of Randy the Wrench Ranger

The Adventures of Randy the Wrench Ranger:

based on a true story

      It was a sunny afternoon in early July, and Randy was out collecting honey from his bees. He had to collect honey because his grand-pappy was very, very sick and the only way to cure him was to get a magic flute from Mobile, Alabama. Randy didn't have any money, though because he only worked part time at the local factory- Red Bud Industries. Honey was a growing commodity in his local community so he decided to grow it and make some money.

    Late one afternoon, a few Boeing 757's crashed into his bee farm! "What the heck!?" Randy thought, "I was just about to raise enough money to take a train down to see my grand-pappy". So, because all of his options were exhausted, Randy decided he had to sell crack; it was his only option.
    Randy sold crack successfully for a few weeks, and made a fair share of money, but his dad, who used to be a vital part of the Doobie Brothers, intervined. Randy had to stop selling his crack! What could he do now?
    There was only one option left- he had to whore himself out to either 500 chicks, or 50 fat chicks, or 5 really, really fat chicks. "Lord have mercy," Randy thought. Please help me to not get caught in this prostitution ring. Randy almost had enough money, but contracted a serious case of syphalis and aids.
The end.